Or in this case, your PT-76. Like your typical dating simulator, Panzermadels casts you as a high school student looking for love… except all of your potential mates are tanks. Oh, they look like regular high school girls, but each student is the personification of a different tank used in World War II.
The M4 Sherman, for example, is an-all American tomboy who, quote, "would rather be outside on the firing line listening to classic rock" than sitting in class. We'll stop there, before you get too hot and bothered. Playing a dating simulator in front of your partner is always a risky proposition, but Panzermadels is more dangerous than most: no matter how your beloved dresses or how hard they work out, they're never going to be a tank. It's just not going to happen. Keep your love affair with military hardware to yourself. It'll be better for everyone. Super sucks Let's get this out of the way upfront: Super Seducer is not a good game https://realtyagentgame.com/jamie-gold-poker-pro/. Produced and starring Richard La Ruina, a self-proclaimed pick-up artist that even Piers Morgan finds repulsive, How to Talk to Girls uses live-action video to teach users how to score with attractive women. "So how have you been the past few days? What have you been doing?" "Actually quite a lot, I went to the gym as usual, did some work, but it's boring, right?" That's the idea, anyway. The poor people who've played the game call it "farcical and disastrous" and "The Room levels of bad." "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!" Almost all the situations the game confronts you with are simple multiple choice questions, and not difficult ones. Much of La Ruina's advice, like planting yourself in front of a woman on the street so that she can't escape, ranges from creepy to borderline weird. It's truly the definition of cringe-worthy. "Look at you, you're just adorable. You look like a little baby lamb … " "Thank you." "You're so shy … " Basically, you've got no reason to play this if you're already in a relationship. At best, your girlfriend is going to think you're a creep. At worst, she's going to think you're planning on cheating, and, honestly, if you're willing to subject yourself to Super Seducer while you've already got a great girl, we can't think of any other reasonable explanation. Protecting the mini For many couples, settling down and bringing a kid or two into the world is a big part of the long-term plan. Maybe you and your partner are one of those couples. If so, don't let your significant other catch you playing Who's Your Daddy?, which is explicitly designed to make you look like the worst parent imaginable. Who's Your Daddy? is a two-player game in which one person plays the titular daddy, while the other controls his newborn spawn. If you're the dad, your goal is to keep your baby safe. If you're the baby, your job is to make that as hard as possible: Climb into a lit oven. Swallow batteries. Stick a fork in the electrical outlet. Do whatever you can to end your life as quickly as possible or you're going to lose. Who's Your Daddy? is all in good, if dark, fun, but don't expect your partner to see it that way. Chances are this game will make any reasonable human being reconsider whether or not you're really the right person to raise a child with — unless, of course, you're gleefully playing together. In that case, maybe parenting isn't for either of you. Everybody loves a Dream Daddy There's a dad for everybody in Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator. There's Joseph, the "cool youth minister dad" who's great at baking. There's Brian, who's all set to dazzle you with his manly paunch, bristling beard, and award-winning garden. Robert is bad news in all the best ways. Mat is the hipster hunk of your dreams. Craig is a gym rat with twin daughters, while Hugo Vega knows just how to stimulate your … mind. "Mommy likey." Dream Daddy is funny, but it's not a joke, and that's key. These Dads aren't just stereotypes. They're fully fleshed-out characters with their own wants, needs, and flaws, and no matter how you swing, you'll probably fall for at least one them. Most likely, your partner will too. If your significant other decides to go all-in with a video game character, that'll leave you painfully alone. No daddy is worth that. Not even these. Just don't do it At first glance, there's nothing scandalous about Conception 2: Children of the Seven Stars. You're not sleeping with those high school girls you're dating. You're "classmating" with them. You're not swapping fluids or DNA with each other, either. No, you simply exchange magical "ether" by holding hands. Oh, and you're definitely not enlisting your offspring, known as Star Children, into your army and sending them into battle… oh, wait, never mind. That part is 100% true. In short, Conception II is like a greatest hits list of everything you don't want your partner to see. A dating simulator starring very young anime girls? Yup. Bad parenting? Oh, you bet. The whole thing has more red flags than a parade. "The ritual involves pouring a male's Ether into a female's Star." "OKAAAYYYY HEHEHE OKAY OKAY!" Don't get us wrong: Conception II is wicked fun, especially if you're into JRPGs like Persona and Etrian Odyssey. If you're in a relationship, however, do not let your other see you play this game. It's phenomenally weird, and will lead to all sorts of questions, and, chances are, your partner would not like the answers. You've been warned. My lord! You're forgiven if you don't know what Evony is about. Instead of explaining Evony's medieval fantasy setting or its city building-based gameplay, ads for the game had a very "different" focus. Yeah, Evony is that game. The one that seemed like it was pretty much everywhere a couple of years ago, with ads starring women decked out in low-cut Renaissance faire garb. You've seen the ads. Your partner has, too, and she's not too thrilled with them. They've got absolutely nothing to do with Evony itself, but like they say … "This sells, Morty." Ironically, Evony doesn't have any sexy women in the game itself, in fact, there aren't really any women in Evony at all. You might be able to get away with enjoying Evony in front of your partner just fine, as long as he or she doesn't ask what the game is called. Once you answer and they realize that you're talking about the weird game? Yeah, you're sunk. Thanks for watching! Click the SVG icon to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Plus check out all this cool stuff we know you'll love, too!
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